Paragraph 1: Revise one body paragraph
It is easy to see why the people who are living in Griffintown are unhappy about the hyperdensity route that the real estate planners are taking. In fact, we can see numerous amounts of high-rises present and hardly sense any charm or personality in this area. All you can see is a seamlessly infinite amount of these bland grey structures, with the only colors around them being the bright yellow machinery used to construct these cement towers as well as the red and green tarps that cover where the windows will be placed. […]
Paragraph 2: Rewrite your lead
One day, while I was making my way towards downtown Montreal, I noticed something that did not quite look right. Griffintown, a borough south of downtown Montreal, had a sea of half-built condo buildings and cranes flooding the community. I couldn’t understand why so many people wanted to live here as I could not find the appeal of living amongst tall structures, with other people being able to watch through your windows just because they live on a higher floor than you do. Not understanding what was going on in Griffrintown, I decided to do a little research for myself and found that this neighbourhood was going through something called hyperdensity.
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